So I've lost some friends,and senpais,how grateful,but I don't much mind,it's not my fault that they don't wanna be friends,but they weren't much my true friends when I was in 7th grade,and I knew I would lose some this year.
But since I'm trying my best to move on,I guess I will be with my dog,Sam,since he is my one and only friend,dogs can be friends,right? :> I guess they can,since I do play with him a lot,and I guess school just ruins people's life,in my own opinion so yeah.But I guess losing friends isn't my fault,I think it should be their fault right? Cause I keep thinking it's my fault,or their fault,I mean I didn't do anything wrong,and I just keep blaming myself for it,but they think I'm lousy,I act dramatic,and that I act like a little girl.But those aren't true,I am just kind to people,and I help,I try to be nice,but my life just keeps getting ruined.
And since I had anger issues,I had therapy in my school,I just keep thinking therapy is embarrassing for me,but I guess it's for my own good??? I don't know what to do,sometimes,I feel like crying,I keep having problems with life in school,and I guess being at home is better for me,because I have my mom,who is sick,and diabetic,I have to take care of her,because I don't want her dying on me,I want my mom to give up,if I lose mom,I don't know what's next.And I am saving up money for food,and rents so my mom won't be stuck with money,and I will try my best to save money to help my mom,I don't want her own health to get worse,which scares me a lot,i don't know how it feels to lose a mom,and I don't want another mom,I want my mom who raised me,who took care of me,who serves me food,and takes me out to walk,and go shopping,and many fun stuff we do together as a mommy and daughter time.
I guess my future is to believe in the beauty of my dreams,I want to have a beautiful future,with my families,and have really great friends,and win the volleyball game,graduate 8th grade,go to high school,and also winning volleyball for high school,and graduate high school as well,people calls me short in volleyball,and they think I can't jump high to hit the ball,but I can hit it and score it,and they always tell me to give up on volleyball because of my height,but I am not giving up,I am staying in volleyball,I don't care how short I am,maybe they're jealous that they can't play well? Than I can? But does it really have to matter,nobody's perfect,it doesn't matter.
And for Deviantart I am not giving up on art,I draw so many different styles,which is cool,and having really nice people supporting me just makes me happy,no one has never said nice things to me,never has no one said something nice to me,and I love the watchers on DA they make me happy,I am happy for them as well,when I see new arts from others,I feel excited and happy,that's how I am,but in real life my life is just ruined,but I guess moving on will be okay for me,and I will try to be a happy person this time.
Thank you for reading,sorry if this writing was so long,but I hope you understand.